Smurf, Hulk, Kermit, or no nickname at all: To the untrained eye, Rolex Submariners set themselves apart first and foremost with their color schemes. Just like with the Rolex GMT-Master, why you decide on a specific model is, along with how much cash you’ve got to spend, also a question of character. The following will shed some sarcastic light on whether you decided to purchase your Submariner based on its color, or because you had a hankering to set yourself apart from other Sub wearers. Are you a frog? A Smurf? Perhaps a misunderstood genius? Or maybe just plain boring?
For the Chintzy Purist – The Submariner 124060 No Date
Do you have the latest Submariner No Date ref. 124060 on your wrist? Then you’re clearly a Submariner fan of a more frugal feather. There’s not much to say about this watch from a technical standpoint. It’s got the iconic Oyster case, a black diving bezel, a movement (duh), three hands, and a black dial with twelve indices. The only thing a Sub No Date has traditionally not offered since 1953 is a date complication. So far, so good. That does however mean that, compared to the other models we’ll talk about today, this reference is basically a boring watch you’ll see adorning the wrists of those “livin’ the dream” of middle management at a bank somewhere.
Whether you’re wearing your Sub No Date in the safe shallows of your daily desk dives, or venturing into the more treacherous waters of your bathtub, one thing is certain: As a wearer of this watch, you’re showing the Submariner Date owners that you’re a purist who knows their stuff. And come on: can you really claim to be playing with a full deck if you can’t do something as simple as note the day of the month? People seriously can’t keep track of thirty days (thirty-one in a busy month)? You also passed on the Date variant because that, well, downright ugly date window at 3 o’clock, along with its Cyclops lens (detractors like to call it a “wart”) simply destroys the gorgeous symmetry of the dial’s design. Maybe these are just the things you tell yourself, however, because subconsciously, you went for the Submariner No Date because it costs less than its date-wiedling counterpart.
When purchasing your 124060, you chose any old Rolex authorized dealer who, with an annoyed sigh, put your name on the waiting list for one of these models. You waited. And waited. And waited some more, until you couldn’t take it any longer, at which point you had the revelation to look on the secondary market for this watch. A few searches made frustratingly clear that everything was set to go…if only this timepiece wasn’t so doggone expensive. Folks actually expect you to pay upwards of 15,000 bucks for a three-handed watch with no date complication, when Rolex has it listed for just over $8,000? That’s highway robbery! At that very moment, your next step became clear. You took a deep breath, composed yourself…and clicked on “buy now.” All that’s left to do is hope for a good return on investment.
The Submariner Hulk – Green and Incredible for Misunderstood Geniuses
If you’ve decided on a Submariner 116610LV aka “Hulk,” you clearly are one of those watch enthusiasts striving to set themselves apart from the wretched masses donning a black Submariner like the 124060 on their wrists. We saw above how the black Sub No Date is for those stingy desk divers whose greatest aspiration is a warm soak in the tub with their drab Submariner. And if we’re being honest: What kind of person straps a Submariner on their wrist that doesn’t feature a date complication?
Although you’re admittedly not a nuclear physicist whose biological structure has been altered by gamma radiation, that No Date crowd does in fact bring out the Bruce Banner “You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry” in you. You did after all plunk down around double the price of the No Date for your Hulk with its chunky maxi case. You also wonder from time to time about why it didn’t occur more clearly to you at the time of purchase that, with the same dough you were using to buy this green Sub, you could have bought a really decent new car. Infuriating, to say the least, but who cares? You shake it off, because your Hulk shows the world that you’re so much more than just some misunderstood genius who’s constantly working to tame the beast within.
Now, it’s completely true that you’re not able to mutate into the real Incredible Hulk. Your 116610LV is your alter ego, and wearers of any other Rolex Submariner are for you the Emil Blonskys of the world, the arch enemy of Hulk more affectionately known as the Abomination. And even though you don’t go out and physically battle him, that amazing timepiece on your wrist does in fact imbue in you a sense of victoriously bringing all those other wearers of standard Submariners to their knees.
Think none of this applies to you? Then that means you probably wear your Hulk because green stands for values like enjoyment, harmony, and sincerity. You’re a well-balanced, caring person with a pronounced social sense for others. When considering the nature of the Hulk, you might come to the conclusion that you’re a bit too nice to be lumped into the same category as him. If that’s the case, maybe the next watch is the one for you.
The Submariner Kermit – Easy Being Green
Rolex got creative to commemorate the Submariner’s 50th birthday in 2003. Consulting with its designers, the Swiss watchmaker made a feisty decision that changed everything, equipping the Submariner with a green bezel. From this emerged a completely new, never-before-seen model with the reference 16610LV. The final touch of perfection came when the innovative Genevans adorned the dial with slightly larger indices, which would go on to be known as the “maxi” dial. It goes without saying that a constellation of such splendid innovations deserves a nickname.
Besides leaves and grass, what else is green? We’ve got it: frogs! Since “The Submariner Frog” leans a bit towards the unsexy end of things, an iconic frog was needed for the new nickname. There’s really only one to choose from: the pride of Leland, Mississippi and The Muppet Show legend Kermit the Frog, an icon etched into the consciousness of just about any child of the 1970s and 80s.
Ah, the 1970s and 80s, the golden era of your childhood and/or teenage years. Every glance at your Submariner Kermit evokes one wonderful memory after the other. The nostalgic side of you yearns back to the carefree school days of yesteryear, when watches didn’t yet matter to you. You would have burst into hysterical laughter back then if someone had prophesied to you that, one day, you would have a $25,000 timepiece on your wrist carrying the nickname of your favorite TV amphibian.
Kermit’s a huge TV and movie star, something that still unfortunately remains out of reach for you, most likely because you’ve never really attempted to be one. There’s also that hankering you’ve been having for that pink-bezeled Submariner, the “Miss Piggy” to go along with your Kermit. To your knowledge, however, Rolex doesn’t make that…not yet at least.
Knee-High to a Submariner: The Smurf
If you’re a wearer of the Rolex Submariner Smurf ref. 116619LB, that makes you the exact opposite of the rancorous Submariner Hulk fan who turns ridiculously muscular and green every time something doesn’t go their way. You’re the more disciplined type, and are under control just about all the time. You love those cute little Smurfs so much that you just had to have a blue watch. When you decided on the gorgeous blue white gold Submariner, it was simply, you know, “smurftastic.”
Smurf creator Pierre Culliford (pseudonym: Peyo) could perhaps imagine you as a welcome addition to the world of playful little creatures who fit comfortably into the palm of a human hand. However, actually being a Smurf would make it physically impossible for you to carry the necessary chuck of change required to purchase a Submariner Smurf, not to mention the full-sized wrist required to don this amazing-looking timepiece.
There are around 100 different Smurfs inhabiting Smurf Village. In terms of watch purchases, you relate of course the best to Brainy Smurf. Although you’re a bit overbearing to your friends and colleagues with your penchant for (allegedly) knowing everything better than they do, you were still smart enough to invest your money in the right Submariner. And provided you didn’t purchase your Smurf just last week, you simply love its hefty increase in value which, between June 2020 and June 2022, was nearly 80%. Talk about smurftastic.
Take that, Submariner Hulk and Kermit! And reference 124060 who? Your Smurf Submariner is blue, brainy, and the best!